BGRs

I swear it must be an Asian thing because the moment I turned 18, there was a sudden upsurge in interest and immense speculation about my love life (or lack thereof). All my parent’s friends give me sly glances and knowing nudges to get a move on. Even Ablaze gets in on the act with Chris sending a Valentine’s Day email to all the guys to avoid stumbling the girls….I’m sure the logic works somewhere.

The following conversation with a couple of uni girls a while ago (in the law library of all places) demonstrates what I mean:

Note: Names were change to protect the guilty parties’ identities

Whilst talking about a high school friend

Sue: You know, Jane’s ex just celebrated his first anniversary with his girlfriend

Me: (Reading my contract notes) Oh really?

Girl 1: Yeah, she’s feeling lonely…she needs a boyfriend lahhhh

She puts a meaningful hand on his shoulder, eyes flashing expectantly

Me: (Sighs) Let me guess…you want me to fill in the void?

The two girls burst out laughing

Girl 2: That was an implied term – it wasn’t expressed!

Trung mournfully shakes his head at the poor law reference and attempts to resume his study

Me: Aren’t the both of you too busy with commerce/law to be matchmaking?

Girl 1: Oh no, there’s always time for that…

*

Man, I’m such a talented scriptwriter (coughs). Anyway back to the point of this entry.

It’s always interesting seeing people’s reactions when I say that I’m single and not looking to change that status anytime soon. The stock answer I usually give is that I’m too busy with uni and the fact that even I find myself irritating at times means a girlfriend is not high on my list of priorities at the moment.

On a deeper level, as I’ve continue my walk with God, he’s been subtly changing my perspective about BGRs. Sharing life with Ablaze has meant that seeing girls as sisters-in-Christ has become second nature to me. The rarely used ‘Big Brother’ aspect of my life has been put into good practice in Ablaze. That when it comes to girls, good character and a close relationship with God mean more than looks or personality.

With that comes the realisation that if I want a girlfriend, I need to be able and willing to take a leadership role in both our lives. If I screw up, then it’s not only my life that will be affected, it’d be hers too. I want her to strengthen my faith and vice versa. This is because ultimately God is the only one who can make my life complete and change my life through his mercy and grace. No other human being can compete with that.

As a result, I need to see love as God sees it. Something that is more than just a quickening pulse or a “be still my beating heart” moment:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:25

Man, that’s a hard act to follow. Love my wife as Christ loved the church. When I meet my future girlfriend and wife, that’s the love I want to feel for her. Til then, I’ll enjoy the single life thank you very much. 

At the end of the day, not having a girlfriend at 19 is not a big deal for me. If I find the girl of my dreams tomorrow and it’s God’s will then awesome – I’ll be stoked. If not, I still have God who is ever the same – I think I can live with that

~ by trungsten on September 10, 2007.